One of the largest issues human resources departments have to battle in the workplace, is the same complaint, over and over and over again.
“They just don’t listen.” – Everyone
This exclamation is usually followed by a response from the other party, which goes something like this:
“Yes, I do listen.” – Everyone else
Which then ends with a long story of what ever words were spoken, how they were spoken, why they were spoken, how they sounded, the facial expressions of the person saying those words, and sometimes even what they were eating.
Yet one party still feels like they weren’t listened to.
This is usually where the communications grind to a halt, a “dispute” or “discord” has arisen, and now it is the job of the human resources department to step in and tell two grown arse adults that neither of them is listening – yes, even when they can regurgitate word for word what the other person said.
HR doesn’t have the budget for this
When these sort of disputes happen, often times the employer calls in a specialist to settle the waves and get everyone to start working together again. This specialist is often in the form of a coach or mediator who works with the two individuals to ensure that communications run more smoothly and that the dispute has a happy (or endurable) ending.
And what this specialist does, is essentially make sure that each individual engages in active listening – or receives information given from active listening by proxy, the proxy being the specialist – to ensure that the communications get finalized in a healthy manner.
And as the purpose of human resources departments is to make sure that their spending is kept as low as possible, these sort of specialists are often considered too expensive to hire and the “easier to get rid of” employee gets painted as the problem with subsequent consequences to ensure that one party “settles” in the fight.
Active listening – a simple technique that can make or break a positive connection between two individuals, and would do loads of good if all managers and employees were taught this simple technique – is sadly not something that HR’s budget allows for, nor are human resources professionals taught how to engage with active listening, let alone how to teach others in doing so.
A technique we all need to learn
Those who were lucky enough to be taught active listening as children often tend to think it is the “normalized, standard way of listening” and get agitated when they notice the person they are communicating with isn’t engaging with acitve listening.
But active listening isn’t a technique that is inherent in any of us, it needs to be taught.
So if you are one of those individuals who doesn’t know how to engage in active listening, dive in and learn how to establish this technique in your listening repertoire.
It’ll do wonders for you and the relationship you have with all who are around you.